I Was Set Up to Be A Signs and Wonders Seeker

Read this former pastor’s account of her experience as a minister in the church system:

“I started out for 33 years of life an atheist.  Once I had a ‘Damascus Road” type of experience with the Lord, I was sold out for Him.  And it was two years—1979–before I attended any church.  I went because I had 3 consecutive dreams of a local pastor, and all 3 dreams urged me to find this man, the late Rev. Lester.  (not his real name.) Not once in more than 25 years did I ever consider that it was NOT God who sent me those dreams.  I didn’t find out until AFTER I had finished my 4th book, “the Fake Jesus: Fallen Angels Among Us.”  How did I find out?  The Lord spoke to me and  quietly  said, “I did not send you those 3 dreams that sent you to that church.”  Simple.

Why did He wait so long to tell me this?

Well, I never asked Him.  I kinda “knew” without asking.  I needed to know the depth of perversion and depravity the organized church system actually is “from inside.”  You might say, “I was a spy.” I was never really a part of the system because the demons in it recognized that I was a spy before I actually knew it myself.  The Lord allowed a messenger of Satan to give me 3 dreams and several confirming signs that I was supposed to be there.  I was a church person for 25 years, in ministry about two years after I  first arrived.  I was in a denomination where several churches in a region are “connected.”  So I got to know about 200 ministers, about 10 percent of them as close regional associates.

Well, I knew it was depraved from the beginning.  My first pastor was a closet homosexual who also practiced a Caribbean form of witchcraft called “obeah.” He was one of the first to die of AIDS in the early 80′s.  Most of the ministerial elders that I had to submit my ministry to were depraved.  Thieves, drug abusers, fornicators, homosexuals, child abusers, you name it, undercover and sometimes openly, they did it.

I stayed as long as I did because the religious spirit assigned to me played  a convincing game to prove that  God had me in the system to cause the system to repent.  So I was on my knees, sobbing, wailing and travailing for 25 years.  When things only got worst, commonsense should have told me, “Hey Pam, Don’t you “get it?” God is not answering your prayers in this matter. Why can’t you ‘figure it out?’ If God has not answered your prayers for repentance for 25 years, perhaps it is because “the time of repentance is over.  It just ain’t goin to happen, Gurl!!! Get up off your knees!”

I was pretty comfortable in the denomination in 2003.  I had started my own church and I kept my self separated from the religious politics, and the Bishop did not particularly care WHAT I was doing.  He treated me like I didn’t exist, and that worked well for me.  Then one day, the Lord spoke to me in a dream.  He showed me that “it was time to go.” He said “but let them PUT you out.”  Since I was not in any kind of trouble with the upper echelon, it seemed implausible that they would put me out.  Well 9 months from the dream, my name was removed from the denominations rolls.

Once out, I devoted myself to my online ministry which had begun in 2002 and to the church that I had founded in 1996. From 2004-2007, I waited for the Lord to send me to a different denomination, with my eyes on Full Gospel, non denominational groups.  It didn’t happen.  Then in 2007,  the Holy Ghost spoke again.  He compared the organized church to an inner city condemned building.  In short, He said “I’ve judged it already and I am no longer there.”

I said to myself “this COULD be the devil.” It was too incredulous for me to believe that the Holy Ghost was not in the church.  I was in a state of shock.   So I tried the spirits through the study of church history for one year.  After that year, I knew I had heard from the Holy Ghost.  He is NOT there.

Since God is not there, no point in ME being there either!”


My story is somewhat similar to Pam’s, in that when I went to the institutional churches, I, too, felt like I was a spy at times. Not that I wanted to be, or that that was even my intention.  I would start out innocently enough going to a ministry seeking a word, because I was told it was what I was supposed to do.  But the longer I went there, the more it became apparent to me that I was not supposed to stay there.  On more than one occasion, I had people in the church walk up to me after a service and point-blank ask me

‘Why are you here?  What is your purpose here? Why do you want to come to OUR church?’

At first, I was really insulted, because I didn’t know why would church people come at me like I was some sort of spy or an enemy, when sincerely and wholeheartedly, that was not the case.

It took many years before I began to realize that that WAS indeed the case.  How do I know?

Because in church after church, the LORD HIMSELF allowed me to always-ALWAYS-discover some corruption, some deception, some error,  some blatant outright sin in the lives of LEADERSHIP!

I wouldn’t search for it.  I wouldn’t be looking for it.  The revelation, the information, the evidence, would all just fall into my lap, most of the time quite by accident.  I started getting really annoyed with God for allowing this.  I asked Him “Lord, why are you allowing ME to see all this?  I did NOT want to know all of this!’

That is a question that is still being answered TO THIS DAY!

Some would say ‘Oh, you were supposed to stay there and PRAY.  Just keep praying.’

I didn’t have a dream like Pam did where God showed me the state of the church.  He just kept allowing circumstances to happen in my life that all pointed to the voice of the Lord that spoke to me back in 2007 to COME OUT OF THE CHURCH!

So I did…

God had set Pam and I in different ministries where HE EXPOSED them for what and who they really were, only to give us a CLEARER understanding and revelation of the TRUE STATE of the institutional church as a whole.  


The details of Pam’s story are in her book, “Come Out of Her, God’s People.”  It is an eye opener that should be a part of your library. It is an “ah ha” kind of book.  It explains a lot about the organized church, its ministers and its members as well as “it plagues.” Also if you want to discuss this, your comments are welcome.

If you already know that the truth is being spoken, you are invited to become a member of the RESCUE online ministry. Once you register, you will either be mentored, trained or both, call 518-477-5759.


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